Nobody enjoys being around others who ceaselessly complain and espouse pessimism. They’re BRUTAL. All future therapists will be required to tend bar for 2 years when I’m anointed King. Bartenders hear more misery in a single shift than you’ll hear in two months.
But how about people who are their opposite?
You say to them- out of social norms and politeness “How are you?” and they practically jump out of their britches with “fabulous!!”. I’m not speaking of the rare enlightened people who truly are at peace with the world. I speak of those who are committed to public unbridled optimism, regardless of how they might really feel. Oh, their true self will surface from time-to-time and it is a VOLCANO of hurt. You can usually find them an hour later in the self-help section at Barnes and Noble.
Though I RUN from people who insist on sharing their doom/gloom worldview, I also tend to walk briskly away from the chirpy turn that frown upside down minions. Because I think it’s not who they really are. I think it’s their way of coping but it comes off as super phony.
They’ll never be confused with those who radiate warmth and a very real inner-peace. These folks tend to be on the quiet side. They never offer unsolicited advice; they know you have to find your own way. If you vent in their direction, they typically offer a polite smile and agree- often without words- that life can be a real bear at times. You’ll never hear them offer how amazing everything is. They’re neither optimists, pessimists or realists. They have been through an awful lot and don’t pretend that things aren’t painful sometimes. They appreciate the hell out of things that the rest of us take for granted, including but not limited to:
• A comfortable and warm bed
• Not being in any type of physical pain
• A hot meal that tastes pretty good
• The everyday conveniences of the developed world
• A wide variety of entertainment choices
• The health and wellbeing of the people closest to them
You can’t make it a goal to be at peace- It does not work. Our goal-oriented culture has created much of this unhappiness in the first place- it has taught us the never being satisfied is a good thing. Big Pharma loves this mindset- it’s the gift that keeps on giving. In an era of unmatched prosperity and the comfort and conveniences that SHOULD go with it, the U.S. and the rest of the developed world ingests tens of billions of dollars’ worth of mood medications every year.
Why do you think that is?
Never Be Satisfied and- while you’re at it- ask your doctor about Paxil. Its side effects may include a sense of wellbeing that * may last up to four hours.
*Not to be confused with that other med that may give your four hours of awkwardness.