Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Blow Up the Blow Out

If you are considering transacting business with a company in the midst of a self-proclaimed "BLOW OUT SALE!", run briskly toward the exits.

With the exception of actual liquidations, the aforementioned marketing tactic is knuckle-dragging lobotomized bravado at it's finest.

Retailers love the proverbial "blow out". They also love to tell you when items are "on sale". As I've told my lovely wife an infinite number of times- after she's detonated our plastic collection- she is prey and the merchant is an especially famished velociraptor. Oh, sure, they need to move some non-performing items but flowering it as an "on sale!" item while making sure you (the prey) see all the other lovely's like shooting fish in a fish market.

I drive by a New/"Pre-Owned" car dealership when I go to my gym. Not once has there been a day in which some "unbelievable, limited time offer" wasn't going on there. This hyperbole isn't relegated only to retail or car dealerships. I routinely see every conceivable item in every industry described as "incredible" or "astonishing". Not sure where you folks stand on this but I reserve use of these adjectives for things/events such as extraterrestrials playing kickball in my backyard or somebody whose will to live defies the most lethal agents of expiration.

THOSE things are astonishing; not download speeds that are twice as fast!!

Well..must be going; cases of Sam Adams Winter Ale have been marked down to $16 balloons at the continent-sized Wal-Mart Super Center. I mean, really, you can't beat that price.