Tuesday, April 21, 2015

If it Doesn't Fit

If a salesperson, recruiter or some other total stranger colds calls you- and they describe what they're representing as any of the following: 1.) A great fit for you 2.) Amazing 3.) Fantastic- I advise you to hang up immediately. They are entirely full of shit and will be working elsewhere shortly.

These are the same people who will be "advising" you on wise career decisions because they are a SR TALENT ACQUISITION SPECIALIST (Translation: they are a new hire at some bogus Staffing company).

A Great Fit for You. Is that so? Tell me more about me...oh, wait. You don't know me, but you already know what constitutes a great fit in my work life?

Wow. Am I here right now?

An awesome opportunity, you say? How does this job inspire awe? Just the thought of the formation of the Solar System...now THAT inspires awe, the birth of a child, even the peaceful death of a 100 year old who serenely takes their last breath.

The product/job you're trying to pitch me might does not inspire awe.

I overheard this somewhat relevant conversation the other day: (With apologies to Dr. Suess). It has to do with the adjective I just used. Worth mentioning that both of these people were AT LEAST 10 years out of college.

Thing One: That is, like, sooooo annoying. I mean, like, what is he thinking?
Thing Two: I don't know. But you're right..the guy is so, like, I don't know!
Thing One: I know, right? Like, it's so awesome that his idea will be ignored.
Thing Two: I know. Tanner is such an awesome manager. He, like, has no time for that.
Thing One: I know. It's so awesome. You free for lunch?
Thing Two: I am!..want to go to that new place, Vapid? I hear it's, like, really awesome.
Thing One: Definitely!
Thing Two: Awesome!

If you're one of my estimated three regular readers, you know I loathe stereotypical salespeople. There are considerably less of them out there but not because of an evolutionary shift in consciousness. Some companies just have smartened up and realized this low intel garbage doesn't work.

But you will still get these emails and phone calls about products, services, jobs etc.

Maybe the nature of your work requires you to pick up that phone. I, personally, have never hung up on someone the way I just described. But I plan on starting because it will be, ya know, like...so awesome.