How Much?

I vividly recall being in a vendor trade show booth as a young buck. A passerby with a virtual trashbag full of free marketing refuse stopped in to speak with me.

She asked me what a particular product cost....I told her.

I was immediately pounced on by a "seasoned sales veteran" of my company. "NEVER, EVER tell them the price!!!" he roared at me. He then explained how we must, on the spot, create the time and opportunity to sell VALUE first. VALUE, VALUE, NEVER, EVER he bellowed again.

In the fancy-pants parlance of the prestigious, tier-one consulting firms, my colleague is technically known as "an idiot".

There will be times where somebody-usually a customer- will ask you the price point blank. Got a relationship with them?...great, go ahead and jovially ask them "Are you buying on price again, Fred?.." (Make sure their name is Fred). Joke with them that you hear the sound of somebody kicking some tires.

We always want to sell value first, preferably right away. But if a customer or a prospective customer asks you what something costs...especially if it has a list price/SKU, tell them. Otherwise you lump yourself in with the untold millions of other salespeople...the type of salespeople that we all want to avoid.

If what you sell is a service, give em' the ol' housepainter example. Tell them a housepainter can't quote a price without thoroughly examining the house.

It's been my considerable experience that the "How Much" people very rarely buy a thing. Just tell them.

I Object, Your Honor.

Young people getting into sales are still trained to hammer people who tell them they are not interested. Didn't that ethos disappear shortly after the atmosphere was forming and the Earth cooled?

It didn't. And, as companies get more desperate with slumping sales, many are telling their salesforce "not to take no for an answer". It's pathetic.

I have recently been VERY near three Fortune 500 companies who still teach this. Just three days ago, I had an experience with a mobile phone carrier who still thinks this constitutes clever tactics. (I won't say their name but it rhymes with ""Flint Bextel").

They don't call it "hammering", of course. It's called "overcoming objections". Many mentors/trainers still ascribe to the "you must hear five(5) no's" before you should stop. I'm not kidding. So why is it, exactly, the average consumer/buyer loathes salespeople?

By all means, if you're working with a customer who you know and have at least a business relationship with, probe aplenty. You've earned that right. They're so busy, half the time you know more about their needs than they do. But even if they adore you, customers often will reflexively say "no" before they even understand what they are saying 'no' to.

If you are talking to strangers..prospecting, it's different.

If you're forced to make cold-call telemarketing calls, don't do this. Not only will you fail miserably, you'll feel pretty lousy about yourself and what you do for a living. Cold calling can actually work...if you've got some SERIOUS phone skills and the people on the other line are in the market (or will be soon).

Lessons From Boston-area Blizzards

"All non-essential State Employees STAY HOME"

A buddy of mine and I, whose worldview is consistent with my own, marvel at that line. It is uttered over the airwaves here in New England every year when we get really pounded with snow.

"Hi...my name is Gary Dornhopper, I work for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, my check clears every two weeks though I get called MANY names...including NON-ESSENTIAL".

There's a joke here, obviously...but is there?

Switch over to the private sector of the economy for a moment. Are you considered an "Essential Employee"? Probably not. Unless you are REALLY, REALLY GOOD at making the stuff, supporting the stuff or selling the stuff, you might want to wait on that little cottage you were thinking of buying up in Maine. (Oh, aside from the above mentioned, make sure you know the rules of "the game" and play them until your nose is the color of a UPS Truck).

This sounds like a complaint. It's not. It's reality and, quite frankly, it's probably what's best for most companies. I've worked at companies of all sizes and most people spend most of their days/daze not working!

If you're not very good at your job OR you can't stomach "the game", not to worry.

You're almost certainly pretty damn good at something in which others will be willing to pay you to do it. It may mean working for another employer or working for yourself. Yes, you're going to have to put the cottage in Maine on hold for awhile and possibly settle for a reasonably comfortable off-site tree fort but, hey, times are a changin'.

You've Got What I Need

Many of us know the cost of acquiring a new customer is high. I've LIVED (and written) that, when seeking new customers, it's best to seek people and companies who need what you have as opposed to endlessly following up with people who politely tell you "maybe someday".

Let's talk about customers. Assuming the relationship is on steady ground, you've got something that they need. Sure, they can fire you at any time (and vice versa) but that relationship and revenue stream IS YOUR BUSINESS.

What you have is a level of understanding of their business and, hopefully, a specific and timely remedy or augmentation for their requirements. That's value that you've earned.It doesn't mean they'll always take your call.

Your best prospects BY FAR will always be your customers. Knowing how to manage and grow that relationship is a skillset that companies pay big bucks for. Conversely, Account Managers who do neither get paid for the effort of others who came before them. Constantly "touching base" and stroking customers egos is hardly a skillset. There's a million people on the collective payrolls of corporate America who do little more than that.

Four Guys and a Shovel

We've all seen this many times.

A smallish Department of Public Works-type road project. There's an excavator. It's usually a fix on a water and sewer line beneath the road and then a repair of said road.

And there, in plain view, is one man working and- at a collective $70 to $100 municipal tax dollars an hour- three others contemplating either E=Mc2 or whether to completely clear the shelves at Krispy Kreme.

This incredible waste is not limited to Public Works projects. Every study ever done on the workplace shows the vast majority of white-collar workers spend most of their salaried hours engaged in everything from "Tweeting" about what Madison said on Facebook to crunching baseball statistics in order to effectively manage their Fantasy Baseball Team. It's brutal.

As with any human problem, the solution seems incredibly obvious but either will never happen or will happen in a time frame in which all vested interests get their pockets lined.

As The Pretender's Chrissy Hynde sang in the little ditty Back on the Chain Gang...Welcome to the Human Ray-eeeee-ace (Race).

Following Up...right off the cliff

Feel like slaughtering a sacred cow today.

Repeatedly following up with a "prospect" who has never bought a thing from you, 98 times out of 100, is a complete waste of time. That time and energy could have been spent trying to find someone who needs what you have right now or VERY soon. Politely bow out and move on.

The follow-up/tickler system file crowd will tell you how that "builds relationships". They'll tell you some stories about people who EVENTUALLY bought from them after months or even years of "touching base". That's horsepoop. They FINALLY bought from you because you FINALLY had something they needed.

Oh, sure, they might think you're a swell person and complimented you on your diligent "following up". Let me ask you this: What if they thought you were a nice person, admired your tenacity in your following up efforts BUT STILL didn't need what you had. Answer: NO SALE.

Relationships are what happens after business has been transacted. That's when everyone has skin in the game.

I'll end the post with the cow motif I started it with..another one of my favorite little maxims:

Stop trying to teach a pig how to sing. Not only are you wasting your time, you're irritating the hell out of the pig.

Sky Chair

"You are sitting on a chair in the sky!!!" shrieked a comedian who calls himself Louis CK.

In this four-minute viral Internet video in which he appeared as a guest on the Conan O'Brien show, he humorously ranted about the incredible comforts and conveniences that people enjoy in the modern world. He ranted how we have these wonderful things but we incessantly complain ABOUT EVERYTHING.

(The quotation that begins this blog entry was about his fellow passenger on a commercial jet who got all pissy when the wireless Internet access temporarily ceased working).

The rest of the video short is more of the same and very amusing. Amusing because, like many funny things, it is true. We are living in a 21st century free market democracy, living like Kings but constantly whining like four year olds.

I've have had a front row seat with people very close to me who had real problems. Painful, terminal illness could take the steam out of you, right? Not with the people I'm talking about. They valued everything they had and dealt with what they didn't.

That turnip truck that just took a left onto Nine Mile Road...I didn't just fall off of it. I realize that for virtually everybody, "you don't know what you've got 'till it's gone" (Amazing, as famous as that song is, I challenge anyone to remember who penned and performed it...without Google, jerky)

So, please, remember. As you're sitting on Flight #427 non-stop to Atlanta and you're late because you had to sit on the runway for 25 minutes- not to mention the 800 other ways the world inconvenienced you today- YOU'RE SITTING ON A CHAIR IN THE SKY.